she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
