So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
