shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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