omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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