please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
