no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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