Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She even gives head with a lisp.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
