You work out of a Hotel?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
