the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
where are you?
Hypothermia
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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