I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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