Screwed.edu
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
