He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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