so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
