Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize