bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize