If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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