I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
