He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
