I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
