I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
