Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
