So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
