so let's talk penis.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize