my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
