i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
