In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
