3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You can't motorboat a personality
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
