bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
