oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
