i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
