all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
