I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
