Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
