Buhtt sex?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
