HIV tests are more positive than that guy
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
