That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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