to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize