A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
