And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I am mentally ready for anal.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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