Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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