I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Randomize
