So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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