so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
