Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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