i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize