this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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