i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
