At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
