Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
