Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I have fence marks all over my body
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
