A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
you will always have a special place in my vag
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
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