i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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