Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Randomize
