My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
