he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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