ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
