to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
