today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
