a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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