Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
