I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
