he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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