New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
